Notes from the mad dater: the saga continues

History, before I continue on,  a brief overview of my past might be beneficial, so to keep a long story short; its been four years since  my last relationship, that lasted 18 months. Prior to that I spent six blissful years with Mr. Wonderful.  I should note that I did met either of my latest beaus through an online dating service.

Anyway, On my journey to find a life partner, one of my closest friends heard through the gossip grape-vine,that I am in search of a serious long-term relationship. She felt the need to lend her support by giving me a copy of an New York Times article dated, Jan 9, 2015, titled, Quiz: The 36 questions that lead to love” by Daniel Jones. My first thought was, What the Hell? Here’s short version: These 36 questions are meant to probe deep into the mind of a prospective love interest. The purpose is to open the heart and mind to accept love and honesty.

Okay, I read through the questions, my second thought was, not bad,however, the quiz takes 90 minutes, that’s the suggested time limited. The creators of these questions is a brilliant group of psychologist who suggest that these questions will eliminate small talk, and will disclose openness and truth.

Wow! so, now the task is for me to find participants who are willing to sit for 90 minutes to ask and answer questions. That’s going to be one helluva 1st date.

If your curious  about the 36 questions and I know you are, go to: htt://nyti.ms/BWQijj (the 36 questions that lead to love)

What Say you?

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Journey of a Mad Dater

Journey of a mad dater: Step one

” You’re a beautiful and talent person why are you have trouble meeting a good man?”  I hear this from close friends and family repeatedly. However, when I asked them,  ” do you know someone in your circle of friends who would be interested in me?” the answer is always the same, “no” or ” I don’t want to be responsible if the relationship doesn’t work out.”

One of the problems with finding a suitable life partner is that no one meets the old fashion way; meaning face to face or being matched up on a blind date, that’s  how my parents met, it seemed to work for them they had 12 children and were married 32 years.  So, I’ve been encouraged to join an  online dating services 😦

Now the dilemma, which one to choose there are so many, and for a fee they all promise, ” happily ever after.”  Even-through I know couples who meet through an online dating service and many of whom have gotten married; my personal feelings is that it’s too impersonal. People sitting behind their computers judging  a person by viewing  pictures and what they read in the “about me” box.

Oh well, after some research and talking to real people about their experience, I’ve decided to part with a few bucks and enlisted a good friend who met her husband online to help me build my profile. We spent an hour selecting the best pictures, and composing details about me and what type of man I am seeking, and with a click of a button it was done. So I thought.

No, the task is not over, I was advised to find time to search through thousands of profiles to find my “soul mate.” And if that isn’t enough work I was told to  watch dating tips from Matthew Hussey, he is supposed to be a dating expert/ guru. When I asked why, I was told that, ” There are lots of does and doesn’t in the world of online dating.” Now I am thinking, WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?

What say you?

Stay Tuned……

Illustrative of couple representing online dating
Illustrative of couple representing online dating

The Dairy of a mad Dater

In the interest of reviving my dying blog ( dragthepen) I’ve decided to make a bold move, and allow the few readers who are paying attention and those who aren’t, to have inside access to my latest project. Although I don’t think I should call searching for a life partner a project, its  more like an experiment because I will be using expert courtship advice; something I’ve never done before.

Guide-to-dating

I feel no shame that I’ve confessed out-loud that I’m going back out into the unknown world of COURTSHIP. Please take notice that I did not use the word dating because in today’s society, the word dating has a negative reputation; to some dating means that a person is sleeping around.

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At the age of 52 I am not looking for a one night stand, a booty call or a good lay. I’m in the mood for an old fashion COURTSHIP; not the usual after three dates tag your it or not. I’ve been in the desert for several years, I am committed to taking take the necessary steps to slowly climb my way out of the dry and baron exile of single-hood.  Over the next four months ( May 1-September -1) I will sign in with interesting tag lines like, ” he loves me or loves me not,” or ” another one bites the dust.” The end goal is not to find the perfect mate, but to at least find a suitable companion…more details to come.

Photos taken by aahman_-10

What say you?

The Knight and the Lady

the_english_lady_the_knight_by_tiorra

The knight knocked at the castle gate; The lady marvelled who was thereat.

To call the porter he would not blin; The lady said he should not come in.

The portress was a lady bright; Strangeness that lady hight.

She asked him what was his name; He said, Desire, your man, Madame.’

She said, Desire, what what do ye here? He said, Madame, as your prisoner.’

He was counselled to brief a bill, And show my lady his own will.

Kindness,’ said she,’ would it bear,’ And Pity, said she, would be there.’

Thus how they did we cannot say; we left them there and went our way.

William Cornish`

 

 

Chinese Proverb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

101-Chinese-Proverbs-e1419609529549

Man’s life brings more bitterness than joy

Do what you can while you are young

Help friends, acquaintances employ

And drink, make haste, before your life is done.

Bao Zhao, Northern Wei Dynasty

A Red, Red Rose

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O my love’s like a red, red rose, that’s newly sprung in June;

O my love’s like the melodie that’s sweetly play’d in tune-

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass, so deep in love  am I; and I will love thee still,

my Dear Til a’ the seas gang dry-

Til a’ seas gang dry, my Dear, And the rocks melt wi’ the sun:

I will love thee still, My Dear, While the sands o’ life shall run-

And fare thee well, my only love! And fare thee well, a while!

And I will come again , my love, Tho’ it were ten thousand mile!

Robert Burns

FOR HERO and LEANDER

 

171916It lies not in our power to love or hate

For will in us is  over-ruled by fate.

When two are stripped, long ere the

course begin,

We wish that one should lose, the other

win;

And one especially do we affect

Of two gold ingots, like in each respect.

The reason no man knows; let it suffice,

What we behold is censured by our eyes.

Where both deliberate, the love is slight;

Who ever loved, that love not a first

Sight?

Christopher Marlowe