Random Thoughts

The Rants of a Gold Digger

Dear readers, I live in New York City, and I often ride public transportation. During my 30-minute commute to work, I am privy to people’s conversations. Below is the rantings of a young woman who some people might label a Gold Digger. Why? Because she dates and has relationships with wealthy older men. On this day she was with, a friend, this is what I heard.

 

I use to be a pro at this game of pretense. I do not know what’s gotten into me. It must be time for me to throw in the towel, surrender and retire. I use to have the best pick of men. Handsome, tight bodies, well-educated, and classy. Those men are few and far apart, now all that is left is old saggy toothless, balding, horny men trying to relive their youth. Currently, the old geezer that I am with I feel nothing but bitterness, anger and regret. I am trying to convince myself to stay, he old, boring and clumpy, but Mr. $$$$$$$$$$$$ bags is loaded. I detest when he looks at me smiling with his saggy, jaundice eyes. When I look at him, I feel the rage of contempt soaring through my blood. I had hoped in my last days to be rewarded with an Adonis, instead, I have been handed an old broken, cranky, smothering, needy, clingy stooped old grumpy senior citizen; trying to pretend that he still has it, whatever it is. When I am laying next to him, it feels like I am resting next to a nasty, slimy, fishy, whale. Maybe if he cut that enormous flab from around his waist, I might feel different. When his large, sloppy, wet, ashy, lips touch my skin, I disappear in my head and go to a faraway place. I cringe at the thought of those big clumpy hands touching me; having to listen to his voice that is piecing loud, thunderous, and lacks class. I remember one night when he bumped my leg with one of his long Frankenstein feet; he scratched my silky-smooth skin with one of his toenails that resembles a claw. Oh, Well, at least I got a diamond for my pain and suffering. I took a quick peek; I have to say that it was a big diamond. By the way, this women who was ranting about being with MR. Old Saggy money bags, she was dressed to the nines, designer labels from head to toe. However, I was curious why she was riding the train? Oh well. I had to get off so I did hear the end of her tale.

 

What say you?

Random Thoughts

Half Time

Dear Readers,

Football season will soon be upon us. Oh yes, the joys of trash talking, wearing my favorite  team jersey, eating buffalo wings, and drinking lots and lots of cold beer. This sounded great until I was reminded about the kneeling controversy during the singing of the National Anthem. Don’t get me wrong I’m not down playing an individual right to express their opinion about how he/she interrupts the National Anthem or the raising of the American flag.  To quote Collin Kaepernick, “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag, for a country that oppresses black people, and other people of colour.” He took this stance because of the police brutality and the unfair treatment of people of colour.

In all honesty did he think that the football field is the place to bring attention to these issue that affect the black population? This subject had clearly become an uncomfortable situation for many true football fans to talk about.

I recently moved in with my fiancé and he is opposed of me wanting to watch football. He said, “I’m being insensitive to the movement.” Movement? When did this kneeling during the singing of the National Anthem become a movement? The last time I checked a movement is a group of people who shares the same ideas and work together to advance their shared political or social ideas to begin about change.

Yes, there is a social issue, which is the unfair treatment of black people and other people of colour. What change do these football players expect to take place? If these highly paid professional athletes believe that they have the right to bring attention to the plight of the black societies then I suggest that they use another platform to do this.

Please pay attention to what I am saying and not what you think I’m saying. I support the rights to protest against injustice, but when Kaeperick voluntarily walked from his multi-million dollar contract, what did this accomplish? Did his action solved the inequality between the races? Do the few hundred black people boycotting the NFL by not watching, do they honestly think that this will make a difference to this billion dollar sport franchise?

These players are making millions in a country that has made strides in many areas for the improvement of the lives of people of colour. And yes, there is room for more improvement. These players might not believe in “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” we do live in one of the greatest countries in the world. And regardless of race there are people on the front line everyday sacrificing their lives to keep us safe and free.

So to that I say THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVE.  God Bless America. And ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

What Say You?

Random Thoughts

the failure of our nation

Dear Readers,

Oops. Its happened again, and this time the results are catastrophic. What do I mean?  let me just say that people’s private opinions are reshaping our interaction in society. Yes, we have a right to our views, but what happens when a person’s private thoughts go public and their sentiments is meant to gravely offended another person due to race.

Roseanne Barr’s racist comments about Obama’s former adviser Valerie Janet likening her to a cross between the Muslim brotherhood and a “planet of the apes’ characters.”

In her defense Barr claimed that her statement wasn’t intentional it was a side effect from taking the sleep aid Ambien. She continued to say that, “I have made a mistake …I wish I hadn’t ….”  Supporters of Barr claims that she had a right to “Freedom of Speech” I’m not questioning whether she had the right to speak freely, the question is when the insult is directed towards a person of color, why is public opinion quick to plead the First Amendment?

We are supposed to be a progressive society advocating for the equity of all people. People of color have tirelessly marched, protested and given up their lives all in the name of change. We have struggled through the degrading institution of slavery, segregation and Jim Crow, lynching’s, burnings, rape, brutal beatings and being murdered in cold blood. We have never claimed to be victims of these circumstances. We have spoken out against these injustices due to the color barrier. Why in this day should people of color continue to be treated as the lesser or the other.

Why should people of color endure behavior that was theoretical ended decades ago. People are either turning a blinds eye or just plain ignorant if they truly can look at themselves in the mirror and say that racism is a practice of the past.

What do people hope to accomplish by lashing out with racist remarks. We are a society that has moved from hope and compassion to anger and hate. The bitterness between the races remains as a dividing line. We have become a society that seems to embrace moving backwards indulging in racism and sexism. I understood that when I decided to blog about this issue that this post might be met with silence, and I am willing to life with that. But what I am not willing to do is to keep silent about issues that can have a negative impact on the minds of younger generations. We must not allow them to think that this type behavior is the norm.

What Say You?

Random Thoughts

Images vs Reality

Dear Readers,

“Great expectations, big letdowns” this adage seems to sum up my feelings about people who enter into relationships/partnerships holding their mate’s hostage because of impossible expectations. We have become a society that has stop accepting people for who they are and allowing them to be themselves. Instead, we have these grandiose ideas and stinking thinking about what we want our mates to be and how we feel they should behave. This is due to the   images and fantasies that’s created in our heads. In other words, we place people in boxes.

We all have faults and pet peeves and so one…These characteristics do not mean that somebody needs to come alone and rescue an individual, new flash, you shouldn’t form a relationship to save or change your partner. Stand still take a moment and open your eyes and see the person in front of you, the person you say you love, get rid of the wish list of the person you’re creating in your mind. While you’re looking at that person ask yourself what attracted you to him/her? When we develop a relationship, we don’t do so blindly unless you’re not paying attending to the things that you should. Did you spend time talking and observing your partner? When you walked down that aisle and stood before God and man and say, “I do” it was yes, to the wedding vows and the personality traits that you said wasn’t a problem. Are you being respectful of your partners wishes or are you trying to bend them to your will? I like to sleep on my off days, I don’t like loud noise and ironing, and above all I like a clean, clean house. My fiancé know these things about me and he is respectful of them. On the other hand, he isn’t the neatest person, he procrastinates, he drinks way too much coffee (my person opinion), he has a sweet tooth, and he gets up early on Saturdays. I know these things about him and never have I once asked him to change who he is. We understand that for our marriage to be a long-lasting union, we will have to learn how to live with, work out and around the little faults and pet peeves. At the end of the days he is the man who I chose to be in my life until death does it part.

The point is stop living in denial and be present relationships are not fantasies and fairy tales. We all have our eye on that princes or princess open your eyes he/she is standing in front of you.

 

What Say You?

Random Thoughts

Mommy Dearest

Dear Readers,

I once read that being a mother is the best job. I say, “motherhood isn’t a job it’s a calling.”a job is defined as a paid position of regular employment. While motherhood is the state or experience of having or raising a child. A mother forth life and no definition can truly define the true role of a mother. Women who makes the choice to bring forth life or to adopt children embarks on a life long journey that some say changes the entire course of their life. Being a mother means a life time of having a connection to their children that doesn’t end when the umbilical cord is cut. There is no job description that is equal to the multiple tasks performed by a mother within a 24-hour day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, with the occasional birthday, Mothers’ day, a spa day or night out with the girls. Despite the thousands of books dedicated to helping mothers by giving them advice on the proper way to raise their children; any mother will tell you that there are no manuals that comes close to explaining the instincts, talent, and gifts that mothers have. A mother’s love runs deeper than any ocean, and shines brighter than the stars in the galaxy.  The healing touch of a mother’s hands is more comforting than a skills physicians’ hands. The depths of a mother’s wisdom and knowledge comes from the profound minds of generations. When a mother feels sorrow the entire world senses her pain and mourns with her.  A mother’s joy burns brighter than the Sun and lasts a life time. Motherhood isn’t a random position that a woman chooses, A mother answers to the stirring in her womb, she responses to the call of a natural caretaker. A mother makes heart breaking sacrifices that only another mother understands. Memories of Mothers live on burned into the hearts and mind of her children long after she had departed this earth. Some people say the best things in life are free. I say, “motherhood is the most precious gift of life.”

What say you?

Random Thoughts

I remember When…..

Dear Readers,

There is a Rap song titled “We came from nothing” and an old church hymn that talks about building a house on a solid foundation. When I think of a solid foundation, I think of family. civilization was created with the idea family being the fabric that holds society together. Family is where children are supposed to learn the values and morals of life. The knowledge passed into children from their grandparents are words of wisdom that is the sum of their life experience and struggles they have conquered.

Family is where mothers teach daughters how to be domestic divas and at the same time how to be self-sufficient, while preparing to meet their life partners. Family is where fathers educate their sons how to respect women and what their responsibilities are to their future wives and children. Family is where children learn to love, share, communicate and stay close to their siblings.

Our family’s teach the importance of honoring our elders and never forgetting those who passed on. Family is where babies are celebrated and weddings are a serious extended family event, and death is seen as a home going not the end. In a perfect world, this would make sense.

Nowadays, the family structure is broken and seems damaged beyond repair. Divorce has swept through generations if to say the only way to be happy is to remain single. Mothers burdened with the task of raising multiple children by different fathers. Men are running from home to home spreading their seeds without looking back to see them to maturity. Grandparents are now parents to children parents felt that parenthood is too burdensome. Aunts and Uncles have become best friends to their nieces and nephews, instead of being role models of good leadership and guidance to help younger family members to navigate a world of hate and misery.

I remember growing up eating at a long wooden table this was a sacred time for my family. We waited for family members to arrive for the pleasure of sharing a meal. We did not answer the phone or watch TV. We sat, ate, talked, and laughed. As I got older, the family dinner table became the place were serious family matters were discussed and solved. Sunday was family day, a day relatives anticipated these weekly visits. Nowadays, there are no weekly visits or calls just to say,” hi, how are you.” No one sends cards by snail mail anymore, and we texted instead of letting our voices be heard.

We carry senseless grudges until somebody dies and then we live with the guilt of not asking for forgiveness while they were alive. Children thrown out of their homes at 18 because parents feel it is time for them to go. The visits to elderly family members get less and less, we have replaced time spend in person with technology. We have allowed the grind for that next promotion to get the new car or the bigger house, and spend less and less time with family. In addition, parents are over scheduling children in extra after school activities to keep them busy.

Take a second and think. Do you wish for the days when Family was first, and everything else followed.

What say you?

Random Thoughts

In the Spirit of LOVE

Dear Readers,

Someone comes into your life after many seasons of broken and dysfunctional relationships; He/She said “I love you” and the expectation is to respond, “I love you.” What happens when you do not feel this heart-pounding, palm sweaty, gitty LOVE? You are happy with the companionship and camaraderie of the relationship. You have opened your heart to caring for someone who have brought joy in your life that was dark and empty. However, there is the question of LOVE.

You are forced to evaluate your position in the relationship because your partner is not satisfied with how deeply you care for them he/she wants LOVE. What is LOVE? What is this LOVE that leads people to search until they have connected body and soul to their true soul mate; but disappointment comes because the LOVE you thought you found was confused with lust and infatuation. What is the secret for the couples who stayed together for 20, 20, 40 plus years?

I believe that the bond shared between people extend beyond the boundaries of the kind of LOVE that people mentally boxed themselves into. LOVE is a word that people carelessly throw around. LOVE is the reason why some people say they get married. No. you get married because you and your partner have vowed to love, honor, respect, and care for each other, while forsaking all others. These wedding vows have a deeper meaning then saying I LOVE You. We have all know a couple or two that have vowed to love and honor until death does its part, but at the first sign of trouble, they contact a divorce lawyer.

When my father passed I watched my mother stare at his closed casket and after 32 years of marriage, she said,” there goes my best friend.” That was 24 years ago and I still get goose bumps when I recall that moment. People say “I LOVE YOU.” For many different reasons. I say it is the intentions behind and what is in the heart of the person who says “I LOVE YOU.”

I will say this I will never judge a person based on how much I think he/she loves or does not’ love me. People express LOVE in various ways. Because we have our narrow vision of what we want LOVE to be sometimes we miss extraordinary experiences because we close our eyes to LOVE.

Think about this the next time someone holds your hand. When a stranger flashes an authentic smile, the kind that light sparkles in their eyes. When you receive, a hug and the person squeeze you and holds on for a few extra seconds.When you receive a card that say, “Thinking of You.”

When a stranger shows an act of kindness by paying for your coffee. Think about the time when you were at the end of the rope and just when you let go, someone caught you and helped you to hold on. LOVE is in every moment of each day. Do not close your heart, soul and mind to that spirit of love that flows around us every day.

What Say You?