Farewell to the Mad Dater.

Photos taken by aahman_-2

Greeting from the Mad Dater,

I am not the kind of person who gives up easy, or throws in the towel too soon; but the dating game is a battle, I raise the white flag, throw up my hands and surrender.  No, I am not admitting defeat, however, the dating is a challenge I chose not to take on now.

Sore loser you Say.

Well, if have not noticed the rules of dating have changed; they are confusing. There seems to be a shortage of men with less than gentlemen like mannerism. Instead, there are men who favor moving from first straight to home base after one date.

I’ve  begun my journey four months ago to find a suitable mate. Online dating did not help matters; I have one word for dating websites, “Horrific.” I shall continue to believe in the romantic notion of boy meets girl, boy likes girl and the rest is history.

In my first book, The Waiting Game, by J. R. Floyd, I wrote about wasting my younger years looking for love in all the wrong places. Regardless of those bad experiences, I hold onto hope and wait for the one who is right for me.

What Say You?

TWG Cover

True Love. Yes, its Real.

Greeting from the Mad Dater,

Photos taken by aahman_-2

Hey, a funny thing happened on my journey to find a partner, soulmate, man, husband, whatever the phrase people are using these days. For those who are not aware, I’ve begun this journey on April 26, 2016 and as of today, July 13, two months and seventeen days  later, after creating three profiles on different online dating services, watching endless date coaching videos, and reading two books on relationships, I haven’t had a single date.

I’ve met men who pretend to be in search of a relationship. I encountered men online who are not who they claim their profile say they are.

I Thought all hope was lost, I met him, the one just right for me. He has brown sleepy  bedroom eyes, a tan complexion, and the cutest nose, his ears are a little large, and he is a bit on the short side,  but he is eager to please. I’ve never believed in love at first sight, but I know he is the one. His name is Boone, he is a 2-year-old beagle I’ve adopted. Once his Vet check is completed, we will be united.

I have found a true friend  for life

What say you?

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The count down Begins: an update from the mad Dater

 

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Hello readers,

For those who are paying attention, I am 30 days into my journey as  the mad dater in search of my life partner, or should I say the rest of my life partner. Thus far nothing interesting has happened. What I will share with you is this, I’ve wasted money and time posting profiles on two different online dating sites. Despite all the happy advertisements  with couples claiming to they’ve found love and their happy ever after through an online dating site, this maybe true, but allow me to tell you what I’ve observed. These online dating networks are HUBS for losers, jerks, con artist and sexual predators, who are only interested in a one night stands.

Just as my frustration level was about to spike to the boiling point, a friend suggested another online dating site where she found her now fiancée; and the best part the service is FREE! Once again I started over and build yet, another profile, after shutting down the other two. Well,  Its been two weeks  and the response is better than the previous two sites, where most of the photos posted by men claiming to be seeking a relationship/ soul mate looked  like mug shots.

I’ve invested an entire  night searching through profiles and I am pleased to report the men on this new dating site are much more attractive, and some of them understand the concept of starting a dialogue via email or instant messenger before asking me for my number. I am turned off by men who give their number to me as soon as we make contact.

I often refuse to call them instead I ask that  we start to get to know each other through email; most don’t answer me back. At this point in time I don’t know if I am making the right  move. The reason for my hesitation is because we live in perilous times, therefore, I am being careful  not to invite unwanted drama in my life by giving ever Tom, Dick and Harry who flashes a smile fake or real my number.

I know that this maybe hindering my efforts but as the saying goes, ” It’s better to be safe then sorry.”

What say you?

The single life the Romance is Over

At the age of 45 , I had a revelation that I was no longer interested in being single. I didn’t put much thought into what I was going to do to solve my single status. So, I put the idea on the back-shelf planning to revisit it again.

…Fast-forward, now at the age of 52 the glitz and glamour of having the time and freedom to sleep late, cook or not to cook, sleeping in a fetus position to keep warm , and eating alone has soured.

The single life means being alone, having too much time to be alone; just me and the voices from the television or radio; and they don’t talk back or ask, ” how was your day?” In my house there is no one to pass the honey to do list to, because it’s just me, so, its more like things to do list.

I talk to people who drool with envy because they wish to have my life. I’ve come to the conclusion that they are in relationships, that no longer meets their needs, and they  believe that the grass is greener on the other side. It isn’t  until they abandon all that they have to cross over into single hood and have a oh Shit moment, Oops its to late, when they realize that what they needed to do was to  pay attention to the weeds ( boredom) that grow in their yard

( relationship); and if they had taken the time to care for and revive their grass ( spouse) then maybe thing would have remained green ( happy). Now, the other side ( single-hood) is not as green , plush and happy as they thought. The silence of an empty house is loudest when your alone. the bed never feels comfortable no matter how expensive the sheets or  how warm the comforter; so what is a single person to do?

Most people run out and adopt “Fido,” only to find out that their beloved pet is more of responsibility than a shared committed relationship with a human. I found myself competing with the younger generation of women, them the Millennial, me the Baby Boomer , and they seem to be winning. The male Baby Boomers no longer want my type, strong, focused, responsible and intelligent. They desire young, hot, shapely, badonkadon ( big Butt), ride’em, hard  and hit them fast spontaneous vixens.

These days people  few people start a relationship the old fashion way; like being matched up by friends. Instead, I am doomed to online dating, dam to the age of technology. Night after night, I sit in front of my computer shifting through profiles of men whose pictures resemble mug shots. Reading lie after lie about they are adventurous, romantic and hope to find ” the one, ” yeah, more like the one for the night. Do I sound bitter?  Well, I am. Dating should  not have to be  difficult, and is not a game. People feelings are real and the ones out there like me waiting, wanting and hoping to find the right partner, the deceivers make trusting others a challenge. Anyway, I am going to keep hope alive.

What Say You?

me

Venting: Confession of a mad Dater

Photos taken by aahman_-2Having my say

First, I find the games that adult play while dating offensive and mentally exhausting. Making matters worse, some of the suggestions from proclaimed dating and match making experts; focus mostly on women than men. For example, women are advised to make a special effort to look their best at all times, REALLY!

Second, some experts suggests dating a lot this includes having a profile on at least two dating sites. Their theory is that it’s a waste to spend too much time and energy into one person at a time. They say this is the best way to find “the one.”

Third, be willing to visit all the places you enjoy to attract a compatible mate, living in New York City who has time to do more running around.

Here’s what I have to say,

My idea of date is this, boy meets girl, they go out have fun, then boy leaves girl at her front door by being a gentlemen and say ” Good Night.”  This should happen until Mr. Wonderful understands that I have standards and I am serious about an old fashion hands off courtship. I know what your thinking, yeah in my dreams. Well, a girl can hope.

What say you?’

 

Journey of a Mad Dater

Journey of a mad dater: Step one

” You’re a beautiful and talent person why are you have trouble meeting a good man?”  I hear this from close friends and family repeatedly. However, when I asked them,  ” do you know someone in your circle of friends who would be interested in me?” the answer is always the same, “no” or ” I don’t want to be responsible if the relationship doesn’t work out.”

One of the problems with finding a suitable life partner is that no one meets the old fashion way; meaning face to face or being matched up on a blind date, that’s  how my parents met, it seemed to work for them they had 12 children and were married 32 years.  So, I’ve been encouraged to join an  online dating services 😦

Now the dilemma, which one to choose there are so many, and for a fee they all promise, ” happily ever after.”  Even-through I know couples who meet through an online dating service and many of whom have gotten married; my personal feelings is that it’s too impersonal. People sitting behind their computers judging  a person by viewing  pictures and what they read in the “about me” box.

Oh well, after some research and talking to real people about their experience, I’ve decided to part with a few bucks and enlisted a good friend who met her husband online to help me build my profile. We spent an hour selecting the best pictures, and composing details about me and what type of man I am seeking, and with a click of a button it was done. So I thought.

No, the task is not over, I was advised to find time to search through thousands of profiles to find my “soul mate.” And if that isn’t enough work I was told to  watch dating tips from Matthew Hussey, he is supposed to be a dating expert/ guru. When I asked why, I was told that, ” There are lots of does and doesn’t in the world of online dating.” Now I am thinking, WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?

What say you?

Stay Tuned……

Illustrative of couple representing online dating
Illustrative of couple representing online dating