Random Thoughts

In the Spirit of LOVE

Dear Readers,

Someone comes into your life after many seasons of broken and dysfunctional relationships; He/She said “I love you” and the expectation is to respond, “I love you.” What happens when you do not feel this heart-pounding, palm sweaty, gitty LOVE? You are happy with the companionship and camaraderie of the relationship. You have opened your heart to caring for someone who have brought joy in your life that was dark and empty. However, there is the question of LOVE.

You are forced to evaluate your position in the relationship because your partner is not satisfied with how deeply you care for them he/she wants LOVE. What is LOVE? What is this LOVE that leads people to search until they have connected body and soul to their true soul mate; but disappointment comes because the LOVE you thought you found was confused with lust and infatuation. What is the secret for the couples who stayed together for 20, 20, 40 plus years?

I believe that the bond shared between people extend beyond the boundaries of the kind of LOVE that people mentally boxed themselves into. LOVE is a word that people carelessly throw around. LOVE is the reason why some people say they get married. No. you get married because you and your partner have vowed to love, honor, respect, and care for each other, while forsaking all others. These wedding vows have a deeper meaning then saying I LOVE You. We have all know a couple or two that have vowed to love and honor until death does its part, but at the first sign of trouble, they contact a divorce lawyer.

When my father passed I watched my mother stare at his closed casket and after 32 years of marriage, she said,” there goes my best friend.” That was 24 years ago and I still get goose bumps when I recall that moment. People say “I LOVE YOU.” For many different reasons. I say it is the intentions behind and what is in the heart of the person who says “I LOVE YOU.”

I will say this I will never judge a person based on how much I think he/she loves or does not’ love me. People express LOVE in various ways. Because we have our narrow vision of what we want LOVE to be sometimes we miss extraordinary experiences because we close our eyes to LOVE.

Think about this the next time someone holds your hand. When a stranger flashes an authentic smile, the kind that light sparkles in their eyes. When you receive, a hug and the person squeeze you and holds on for a few extra seconds.When you receive a card that say, “Thinking of You.”

When a stranger shows an act of kindness by paying for your coffee. Think about the time when you were at the end of the rope and just when you let go, someone caught you and helped you to hold on. LOVE is in every moment of each day. Do not close your heart, soul and mind to that spirit of love that flows around us every day.

What Say You?

 

Random Thoughts

Body Shaming, a choice or discrimination?

Dear readers,

 

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” Body shaming is a negative statement and attitude towards another persons weight or size.”

I am told that setting standards when seeking a life partner is important. In a prospective partner we look for compatibility and good characteristics like: someone who is caring, humble, generous, and self assured. Some people rely on chemistry, “a connection of a bond or common feeling between two people.” For others, physical attraction is important, meaning features that are considered aesthetically pleasing or beautiful.

Question, have you found yourself staring  at a couple who is noticeably gorgeous from head to toe; or the opposite, the women is more physically fit than her male companion, and vice a versa? The general consensus is that aesthetics should not be a deal breaker when choosing a partner.

We all know the saying” beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” Haven’t  you noticed the world is leaning towards outer beauty? A well toned body is a mandatory requirement regardless of  the person’s personality, standards or morals. There are ads that are dedicated to Body Shaming most  are directed towards women. What is most shameful is  people are using body shaming as a form of discrimination when selecting a partner. These people are sending a clear message that based on an individuals physically appearance that they are good enough.

What Say You?

Random Thoughts

Body Shaming, a choice or discrimination?

Hello I am back.

Greetings from the mad Dater

 

landscape-1465900279-body-shaming-banned

” Body shaming is a negative statement and attitude towards another persons weight or size.”

I am told that setting standards when seeking a life partner is important. In a prospective partner we look for compatibility and good characteristics like: someone who is caring, humble, generous, and self assured. Some people rely on chemistry, “a connection of a bond or common feeling between two people.” For others, physical attraction is important, meaning features that are considered aesthetically pleasing or beautiful.

Question, have you found yourself staring  at a couple who is noticeably gorgeous from head to toe; or the opposite, the women is more physically fit than her male companion, and vice a versa? The general consensus is that aesthetics should not be a deal breaker when choosing a partner.

We all know the saying” beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” Haven’t  you noticed the world is leaning towards outer beauty? A well toned body is a mandatory requirement regardless of  the person’s personality, standards or morals. There are ads that are dedicated to Body Shaming most  are directed towards women. What is most shameful is  people are using body shaming as a form of discrimination when selecting a partner. These people are sending a clear message that based on an individuals physically appearance that they are good enough.

What Say You?

Random Thoughts

A house is not a Home

Dear readers,

When most people hear the words Home Alone, this is the image that comes to mind.

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The chaos of a frightened little boy left behind by his family, trying to fend-off burglars.

Home Alone can be just as terrifying for countless individuals, who have lost or never found their Soul Mate. No matter how large, small, shabby, or gloriously chic the outer frame or decorative interior; these things do not make a house a home. It’s the sound of laughter and tears, children playing or squabbling; the sweet aroma from the meal of the day, and the barking of the family dog wanting to go out.

Home is the place for happy family gatherings and sometimes moments of sorrow. Where babies take their first steps, and grow up to descend the stairs on prom night. A home is where childhood memories are made, where Mom and Dad dance alone at night after they put the kids to bed. Home is where grandparents return to live out their last days surrounded by familiar faces.

Home Alone means no voices, no memories, just silence. Each day becomes the same, and everything becomes one.  One cup, plate, fork, spoon, napkin, meal…. until one becomes none.

Home Alone

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What Say You?

 

Drama

Journey of a Mad Dater

Journey of a mad dater: Step one

” You’re a beautiful and talent person why are you have trouble meeting a good man?”  I hear this from close friends and family repeatedly. However, when I asked them,  ” do you know someone in your circle of friends who would be interested in me?” the answer is always the same, “no” or ” I don’t want to be responsible if the relationship doesn’t work out.”

One of the problems with finding a suitable life partner is that no one meets the old fashion way; meaning face to face or being matched up on a blind date, that’s  how my parents met, it seemed to work for them they had 12 children and were married 32 years.  So, I’ve been encouraged to join an  online dating services 😦

Now the dilemma, which one to choose there are so many, and for a fee they all promise, ” happily ever after.”  Even-through I know couples who meet through an online dating service and many of whom have gotten married; my personal feelings is that it’s too impersonal. People sitting behind their computers judging  a person by viewing  pictures and what they read in the “about me” box.

Oh well, after some research and talking to real people about their experience, I’ve decided to part with a few bucks and enlisted a good friend who met her husband online to help me build my profile. We spent an hour selecting the best pictures, and composing details about me and what type of man I am seeking, and with a click of a button it was done. So I thought.

No, the task is not over, I was advised to find time to search through thousands of profiles to find my “soul mate.” And if that isn’t enough work I was told to  watch dating tips from Matthew Hussey, he is supposed to be a dating expert/ guru. When I asked why, I was told that, ” There are lots of does and doesn’t in the world of online dating.” Now I am thinking, WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?

What say you?

Stay Tuned……

Illustrative of couple representing online dating
Illustrative of couple representing online dating